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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23894287">i am afraid of all that i've built, fading away (we are not alone)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bytheseas/pseuds/bytheseas'>bytheseas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff and Angst, Found Family, M/M, One Shot, Tenderness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 06:16:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,053</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23894287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bytheseas/pseuds/bytheseas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Buck is sitting with Red at the bar when he gets the call.  His phone lights up with Eddie’s number, and he picks up, cradling it to his ear so he can make out the call over the sounds of the bar.  </p>
<p>“Sorry, just a minute,”  he tells the old guy, who nods.  </p>
<p>“Buck!”  Chris’s voice rings out, excited, and Buck’s heart warms at just the sound of it -- damn, that kid has him wrapped around his little finger.</p>
<p>or, what if Buck ended up going to that sleepover after all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>640</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i am afraid of all that i've built, fading away (we are not alone)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Buck is sitting with Red at the bar when he gets the call.  His phone lights up with Eddie’s number, and he picks up, cradling it to his ear so he can make out the call over the sounds of the bar.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, just a minute,”  he tells the old guy, who nods.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Buck!”  Chris’s voice rings out, excited, and Buck’s heart warms at just the sound of it -- damn, that kid has him wrapped around his little finger.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, buddy!”  Buck walks away from the table a little, so he can hear better.  “Does your dad know you’re calling?”  Anytime he’s ever gotten a call from Chris it’s been him and Eddie together on the line, usually on facetime so he can see their faces.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, he’s at the door getting pizza.  I remembered his phone password,”  Chris says, proudly.  Buck grins at that -- the little mischief maker.  “Buck, dad said you’re busy tonight but I really wanted you to come to my sleepover.  I wanted my friends to meet you!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chris’s voice is cut off by Eddie’s, in the distance, but sounding closer as the words keep coming: “Chris, who are you talking to?  Your friends are here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Buck!” Chris tells him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Chris</span>
  </em>
  <span>,”  There’s the muffled sounds of a phone being handed over and then Eddie’s on the line.   “Sorry, man.  Apparently I need to change my passcode.”  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s no problem,”  Buck tells him.  As if he would ever mind a call from his favorite kid or his father.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I told him you were busy, but apparently he had to hear it from you himself,”  Eddie continues.  There’s the sound of a crash from somewhere in the distance, and Eddie sighs.  “I’d better go.  Never invite a bunch of kids into your home, Buck.  I’ll have nothing left in one piece by the end of this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck cuts in, quick, suddenly afraid Eddie’s going to hang up.  “Hey, um, maybe I’ll come over for a bit.” He aims for casual, and lands too close to eager.   </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a pause, for just a second.  “If it’s not going to cut your night short, you’re always welcome.  Chris would be thrilled, and I’m not going to lie -- I wouldn’t mind not being the only adult in this madhouse.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck laughs, and he’s grinning like an idiot.  “I’ll be there soon.”  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve got to go,”  he tells Red, when he returns to the table. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And I was just going to get into one hell of a story,”  Red replies.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me your number.  I want to hear all of your stories tomorrow,”  Buck tells him.  “I just have somewhere I need to be tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>----</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The way to Eddie’s house is as familiar to Buck as his own route home.  Somewhere along the line it’s started to feel like his second home -- the warmer one, the one he would rather come at the end of a long day, if he’s honest with himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s Eddie’s house.  He’s not a guest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome to the Wild West,”  Eddie says, as he swings the door open, and Buck all but skips in at the sound of kids voices, chattering away.  They’re taking turns playing Mario Kart, and there’s some stiff competition happening based on the level of noise.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You came!”  Chris shouts, above it all, and he makes his way over, leaning in for a hug once he’s in Buck’s vicinity.  Some of his friends all seem distracted from the game at the entrance of the new arrival.  “This is my Buck!”  Chris tells them, and suddenly all eyes are  on him.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I saw you on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>news</span>
  </em>
  <span> once,”  one kid says, in an awed voice.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Chris said you know how to climb </span>
  <em>
    <span>buildings</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”  says another.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you should go next,”  a third child tells him, pushing a controller into Buck’s hands. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck shoots Eddie a look, and catches his fond expression.  “Nevermind that I climb buildings too.  Apparently the coolest member of this party has arrived,”  he says, shrugging.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Buck joins in on the game, enthusiastically, completely in his element as he high fives and cheers on the tiny humans surrounding him.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a while Eddie joins him on the couch, sitting close to his right.  Chris is on his left and kids are around them, and Buck feels like he definitely made the right call.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>----</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite their claims of plans to stay up for the duration of the night, the kids drop off one by one into sleep, spread around the living area in piles of pillows and blankets.  Buck and Eddie are still collapsed on the couch.  The mess can wait until the morning.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I met this guy, at the bar,”  Buck tells Eddie.  “He used to be a firefighter too.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie turns to Buck, watching him as he talks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He was older and he was alone.  No family, and only memories of his life on the force.  It was sad.  I just wondered if -- what if that’s me.  What if that’s us?  What if we’re all close, but one day we don’t work together and we all grow apart?”  </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if you and I grow apart? </span>
  </em>
  <span> lays there, unspoken.  It’s worse to think about that, and Buck can’t quite say it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not going to happen,”  Eddie’s voice is quiet but firm.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just feel like -- you have Chris and Maddie has Chim and everyone has someone except for me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eddie places a hand over one of Buck’s hands.  “Buck, where are you now?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your house,”  Buck tells him, bemusement in his tone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah.  We’re not working, and you’re here.  You’re always welcome here.  You know that, right?”  He waits, and Buck nods.  “You’re pretty much hosting my son’s first sleepover with me.  My son, who told all of his friends so much about you it’s like they met a living legend when you walked in.  We’re family.  That’s not going to change. Chris and I are your people.”  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tears are slipping down Buck’s face, much to his chagrin, and Eddie reaches a hand up to wipe some of them, and it’s such a tender gesture Buck has to catch his breath.  “Even when we’re old?”  Buck questions.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Even then,”  Eddie says.  “Okay?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They fall asleep, sometime later, on the couch, Buck’s head resting on Eddie’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He has a family. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://aziraphalescrowley.tumblr.com/">you can find me here</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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